4.21.2025

Yesterday (Sunday) for the first time in the fifty days I’ve been keeping this blague I opted not to publish something. I had a whole series queued up and drafted, ready to roll out in episodes, a two or three part banger on a job I had a while back and how fucked up the situation was. Prudence stayed my hand.

Having published nothing of note doesn't deter me. Maybe it should but who's to say. I spent years toiling over the same bucket of words I called a book. A count of 90,000 at one point. I got it down to half that. Now it’s looking like it’s going to top off around 30 and I’m fine with it. It’s also more readable. ‘User friendly’ they’d say in the vulgar workplace argot we’re all diseased by now.

Something building. A cyclical way of feeling. How it sometimes is in spring. Internal rhyme without purpose or accountability.

New ideas. All the old ones revised and hacked apart and reassembled into freakish parodies of original thought. Need more new now, more raw.

The way I operate on myself: words by thousands from the fingertips. Like I'm taking digital emetics. Notebooks (unlined, for drawing) to hash out order. Arrows and sketches and phrases all over the thing until it resolves into a coherent idea. Cram it all into place on the laptop. Only device I own of any value. Like trying to fit several dozen unmatched socks into a drawer.

When I'm tired of hearing my own voice I give it to the imaginary folks.

Not recommended methods.

Guest Artist: BK, from the series 'An Organized Trainwreck'
https://www.instagram.com/design__by__bk?igsh=cXBpZXpyem9najdh
(artist bio appears in the 3.28.2025 Weekly Digest)